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Ben Whisman

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Carpe Deity

Copyright © By Ben Whisman. All Rights Reserved.

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From: I_AM
  • Z – Angel of the Least
  • A – Angel of the Most
Date: Now and All Time
Subject: My kids again

Guys! I have a task for you both. You’ve been resting on your laurels. But I know how it is. A guy can get seriously discouraged, with kids like mine.

My kids keep acting up. I wish they’d all pay attention and not make such a mess, when I’ve shown them and told them so often how I’d like them to live. But no, they keep saying they don’t hear me or see me say these things, and I keep having to clean up their messes.

I keep showing them things like forgiveness and love and variety and acceptance, even things about their parent. I thought yesterday’s sunset was pretty, too. Sort of a flourish, one of my better ones, you know?

But what do those kids of mine do? They say they’re listening, “yes, sir; no, sir,” while they fidget and make their silly little firesticks and noisemakers. They act so proud of them too. Sometimes, I almost lose patience. I could show them a really Big Bang. But I love them, and I have to give the best of them the chance to grow out of those childish ways.


Sure, I have rules. They’re far more flexible than my kids think. The kids think if they break even a single rule, that it’ll all come falling down. Silly babies, don’t they know I built their playpen better than that.


They get upset, when one of their playmates doesn’t want to play the same way. They throw tantrums at one another and kick out their playmates and pick fights, or ignore them altogether. They hurt each other. Sometimes, they fight so much that they break their playmates’ physical shells. How sad. I made those shells so beautiful, so handsome. (More about that later.)


I really wish they’d learn. My kids seem to think everything has to be the way they want it. They don’t see how much nicer it is and how much better it works and how much more fascinating it is, with all that variety. Colors, textures, shapes, sounds, tastes, everything to make their playpen educational and wonderful and lovely. Yet they have to tear it down or call it ugly and make it all the same. They can’t agree on what things should be the same, or what kind of same. They can’t even tell that’s more variety in action. I love all those differences. When they try to make it all the same, it really is a shame. I gave them variety in how they are too, but they won’t accept it. I’ve seen them object to any difference in their playmates they can find. How childish not to play together. How awful to hurt each other or ignore each other. I made those differences for them so they’d have more things to learn about. But they decide some thing or other isn’t part of their silly little cliques, and the next thing you know, there’s a bunch of them without shells again.


It’s much the same about acceptance. They won’t forgive each other. They don’t like variety. They can’t seem to understand that if they just accept each other, they’d learn more and have more fun and grow up faster and healthier. They could help each other. Instead they hurt each other. I really don’t know where they got that, “hate the sin, love the sinner,” thing. I didn’t place conditions on it. I told them I loved them all. I told them to treat each other the way they’d want to be treated. I didn’t say it was conditional. I said to love each other. It’s all so simple, yet they want to make it so over-complicated. What’s so hard about acceptance, unconditional love, and really helping one another? Kids today, honestly!


This one really gives them trouble, and I thought it would be the easiest one. Love each other, I said. They took it the wrong way. Some of them seem to think it’s OK to love one group of playmates, but not the other; or one kind of playmate, but not the other. I said to love each other, period. They think the others have cooties or something. Or they don’t like the other group. Some of them don’t even love themselves. Since I love them, why won’t they love each other, or themselves? It’s so very simple. Oh, they get hung up on kinds of love too. If they’d remember to love each other the way they’d want to be loved; if they’d remember to love each other the way I love them; it wouldn’t even be a question. They’d know what kinds of love are good, and know what isn’t love and what’s hurtful instead. I gave them the ability to love, so they’d want to be together. Yet they so often use it to hurt and tear apart. I gave them different kinds of love for each other, so they’d be complete, so they’d form a whole. But they say some of the things I made are not the way their club feels, and everybody else is wrong. Some of them don’t like some of the kinds of love I gave them. Some of them like hurtful things, being mean, instead of the kinds of love I gave them for each other.

Now about those physical shells again? I designed them so nicely. They’re really marvelous. But my kids make fun of each other’s physical bodies. Do you know, some of them say the body I made is dirty or bad or ugly. I designed their physical shells. They’re not unholy. How preposterous. They think that some of the things those bodies can do are gross or not fit for others to know about. They even claim I get mad and don’t want their bodies to be that way. Well, I designed their bodies. So I know what they’re capable of and what they’re not capable of. I know all the strange and funny things they do. Silly babies. As if I don’t know all those things. The ones they seem to think are the most private or weird are the very things I gave them so they could show a few kinds of love for each other. I did that so they’d want to share and stay together and so they wouldn’t get lonely. For heaven’s sake, they act like it’s a big secret or shameful. They try to hide it, even from themselves. They won’t talk to each other or teach each other or care for each other, the very things I want for them. They get upset if two of them show real love to each other and say it’s wrong, but they won’t do anything if two of them hurt each other; that’s what’s really wrong. Why, if some of my kids saw this memo, they’d try to say I meant one thing instead of another, and make good things bad or bad things good. That is how childish they get. And then they’d try to kick someone out of their club again and hurt each other somehow. It is the most trouble I have with them, even worse than those firesticks and noisemakers.


So, Angel A of the Most and Angel Z of the Least, why am I writing this memo, you wonder? Well, I know how much trouble it is, getting through to these kids of mine. I know you’re awfully discouraged. But you can’t give up. Angel A of the Most, your job is to make sure that most of them act right, and that the ones with the most will act right toward the others and each other. Angel Z of the Least, your job is to make sure that the small groups outside the most act right, and that the ones with the least act right towards each other and towards the most.

Now, Angel Z, I’ve heard you grumbling at the milk-and-honey water cooler, that you can’t get them to do that, and you have the worst job. Angel Z, your job is important. The small groups often like each other the least and have the least, or are the least able to do something when they do work together. I know they’re stubborn. Find a way.

Angel A, I’m not letting you off the hook either. You were grumbling that the ones with the most think they have the right to do what they want and think they should have more. Well, you’re right, and because you’re right, you must find a way to get past their pig-headedness.

Yes, I said pigs. I designed them too, you know. Some of the kids think pigs aren’t clean, but to be honest, the kids are often worse and dirtier. It’s a good thing I send them rain and water. That’s a little in-joke, sort of old humor, I know.

Now then, Angel A and Angel Z, you must both work together and get the kids to work together. Their playpen’s really getting foul with all the mess they’re making, and sooner or later, I’m going to have to clean it up, if they won’t clean it themselves.

They got confused about that one too. They think it means I’ll get mad and wipe them out. I didn’t say that. I said I’d clean up if they didn’t. If they don’t, then they’ll lose their playpen privileges and I’ll have to make better bodies. If they do, then just maybe they’ll grow up some and learn and not be so obnoxious. If they can do that, they’ll change into those better bodies themselves. They’re confused on that one too. But they’re not mature enough yet to really understand about their spiritual bodies. They barely know about their physical bodies, and they get that badly confused.

What was that? Oh, why don’t I step in now? Why do they have to keep on being so mean and hurtful, and why do the good ones suffer and lose their physical bodies? Well, that’s a lot of questions all in one, guys. Alright, you’re old enough to get this, a little. They have to learn some things on their own. I designed them that way. It’s so they’ll grow up right, so they’ll learn the real lessons. Every so often, I step in and do something directly, or I’ll do something as if I was part of their playpen or one of their toys, or I’ll guide one of them. About that suffering? It isn’t that I want them to be hurt at all.

Don’t forget, their physical shells are exactly that, shells. They have to grow out of them. The shells protect the spiritual bodies and let them learn. The ones who get hurt along the way are not cursed by me. They all break out of that shell sooner or later. No, the ones who get hurt along the way, I look out for them. They learn a great deal in a shorter time, and they teach others. I give them others who will love them and help them. They are among my best children. Many ask why they or those they love suffer or are hurt or alone. I never leave them alone. I couldn’t. I’m everywhere, remember? I don’t want them to suffer. But there are rules for the playpen to work. I can’t change the rules every time something happens. (More about that in a minute.) They’d never learn. Now, some of them ask about the ones who cause harm, why don’t I punish them? I do. The ones who cause harm to others learn their lessons, appropriate to what they did.

Well, Angel A and Angel Z, I’ve got to go next door. There’s another playpen and another bunch of kids, and they are just as messy and obnoxious and have some really silly games they play too. Please remember, I’m still here, and there, whenever the kids need me, just like I was there at the water cooler to hear you two bickering. It isn’t that I don’t give you privacy or choice, guys. I simply am always around. I know you don’t always understand what I say, guys, but you’re still kids too. Half-grown, and a different model of kids than the ones you’re looking after, but still, you’re grown up enough to babysit. Now show the responsibility I know you can, and remember, if things get too out of whack, I’ll step in.

What happens if I have to step in? Very simple. I can do all kinds of things to clean up the playpen. I take away a toy or change it into another toy. I can make tiny adjustments. I do things they never notice; they aren’t supposed to notice yet; they haven’t grown up enough to understand. I can step in and change things. Sometimes, I even talk to them directly or guide one of them. Usually, they don’t notice that either. Or they pretend it didn’t happen. Or they misunderstand because they’re so young. Sometimes, I have to step in and do something, if things get really out of whack. Once in a while, I need to change things for one of them, in their physical shells. I do that in little ways all the time. But at times, I have to do something big for one of them. They call those miracles. I don’t play favorites. I give them all miracles. If one of them could read this, I’m sure they’d wonder why I didn’t do something to make their loved one or themselves all brand new and perfect. To them, I’d say, it will only be a little while longer, and meanwhile, you are learning and teaching. I love you, my special ones. To them, and to all of them, and to you, I would say, I am in you and all around you. I am part of you. I feel and think and know what you do. When you are grown up enough, you will grow out of that shell, and become something much more wonderful. For a time, you’ll be a part of all of it too, and you’ll join all your loved ones, in the playpen and beyond it, everywhere. Then, you’ll get to that next part of growing up.

I love you, my children. You are part of me and I am part of you. You are not alone. It’s an illusion for a little while, until you grow up. I love you when you are good or even when you do wrong things. You will learn and grow. Now and then, I do special things for you; either so you’ll learn better or so you’ll get a treat you deserve. Some of you who are asking me questions or who have been hurt or who feel like all is lost…dear ones, I love you more than you know. I — excuse me, I’ll be right back, there’s an emergency.

— OK, I’m back. Dear ones, I know it hurt. You’re safe now, it’s alright.

What? Oh. Well, you, my child, something happened and you lost your shell. I know it feels different. Yes, yes, I know your loved ones are still down there. Yes, I know that one and that one need help. They will have special ones looking out for them, and they are special themselves. See, look, here is my plan for them. Yes, that’s right, that one will never expect what beautiful things will happen, and that one over there will be forever changed when they find each other. Yes, I know. No, I can’t do that yet. It is more important for all my children for your special loved ones to stay there. You see, here’s what happens next. Yes, that’s right. It won’t happen if those loved ones lose their shells too soon. It will happen soon enough, I promise. You can look in on them and help them too. Now go and join your loved ones already here. You can share in ways you couldn’t, before.

Hello, sweetheart. Yes, it hurt when you did that. I wish you hadn’t, but it’s alright. No, there are some kids who’ll really miss you. A few of them, you hadn’t met yet. I had some kids ready to help you. I wish you could’ve stayed a little longer and opened up to the ones I was sending. I know the others were being mean. What? I don’t hate you. I never did. You didn’t do anything bad and I wasn’t punishing you. Why, then? Because you were so strong, you could show others a lesson, and prevent the mean ones from being meaner. Because you could have taught others a good lesson that helped many others. Sweetie, you were hurting and didn’t know how to reach out yet. What happened will have a different lesson for the kids there. See, here is what would have happened if you’d stayed; and here is what will happen now. Yes, that’s right. Two different outcomes to two different situations. Shh, I was there with you. It will be alright now. Yes, dear one. That one loves you so much, but didn’t understand how things were for you, or that one would’ve been there to help. I will look after that one. I have something else in mind for your special one now.

Hello, child. No, it is too soon, but I will give you the choice. Look how much these kids need you. They will love you. Hush, don’t be afraid. You’ve done nothing wrong, you were just hurting, I know. Shh, there is someone special waiting for you, in just a little while. Yes, baby. I’ll make sure you remember when it’s the right time, but for now, you can’t know all of this yet. There you go. It will be painful for a while, but you will have many who love you and who will be changed by knowing you. Yes, sweetie. Soon enough, you’ll be here. Alright, that’s good. I’ll see you back here when you’ve outgrown your shell.

Hi, kiddo. Yeah, it was rough, wasn’t it, living all that time like that? I sure am glad you’re here now. I know you wanted it to be sooner. What? Why did you have to be that way? Well, you are one of the special ones. You wanted to do something very good, and I saw you had the kind of spirit that could do it. So, I gave you this task before you left to go there. That’s right. You were on a special mission. You have something in you that withstood all the hardships, and showed so many…. You don’t know, do you? Here, kiddo, look at all the good you did and how many other kids will remember. Uh-huh. It’s amazing. I am so proud of you. You did so well. Oh, you silly kid, I don’t care about the times you weren’t perfect. You did great. Hmm? Hahahah! You thought I wouldn’t like that. Do you know, that’s one of the things I liked best? Yes, really. Here, you might want to see some things. That’s right, kiddo. That one knew more than you thought. That one there, you want me to do what? Well, I have something in mind you might like. See? That’s right. That’s one of my special ones too. It will be rough for a while, but that one will find another one to help. Let me show you. Hahaha, that’s right. Pretty good, huh? OK, kiddo, now it’s time for you to go find your loved ones and enjoy your new self. Huh? Why, just… that’s right, it’s been so long, you’ve forgotten. Look at yourself. See? Yes, kiddo, you can do everything again, better than before. Hahahaha! Yeah, you can even do that. Wait, just a second. You have the chance to do something more. You will get to look after someone special, who needs what you have learned. Yes, that one. Yeah, I knew you’d like that one. Oh? You want to know about…? Kiddo, when your special one gets here, and the one I chose to be with your special one, when each of them get here, you will share that love beyond all others. It is the highest lesson I have for you kids. Now, go on and join the others. — Oh, it is so good to see my kiddo without that shell again! Everything works again! It is good, the best. Ahhh. I am pleased.