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Ben Whisman

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Lawnmower Jubilee

By Ben Whisman

Copyright © . All Rights Reserved.

“Sol, honey, don’t you take back that lawnmower! You gave that to Mel fair and square, remember? He even gave you that nice grill last summer.”

“But Sol, I must return the lawnmower! Judy kept saying we should get our own and return yours, and they finally had this sale on. I can’t keep it. I’ll never hear the end from Judy.”

“Mel, my old buddy, I think I see the problem here. Judy and Velma are determined. I think we have to take drastic action.”

“Sol, you mean…?”

“Yes. Yes, I do. The lawnmower must die!”

“Naw, Sol, why don’t we just sell it? I mean, those nice Hendersons down the street, they might….”

“Oh, Mel, don’t start with me, already. Can you imagine what it’d be like if the Hendersons get in on this too? Pretty soon, that lawnmower gets pushed and shoved back and forth, you to me to Mr. H. and back. Our wives will be so busy telling us what to do with that lawnmower, they won’t know what to do.”

“Sol, Sol, I think maybe I’ve got it. We get Judy and Velma to fix lunch, see? We invite the Hendersons. Get Mrs. H. in on the cooking. We three guys have a cookout. Before it’s all over, we give that lawnmower to Mr. H. and his kid for a lawnmowing business, here in the neighborhood. Pretty soon, that kid has college money, all our yards are mowed, and nobody has to trade that lawnmower back in next year. Everybody’s happy. The ladies fix some nice casseroles, us guys fix some nice grilled meat, the kids play in the yard and kill all the weeds. See? Perfect!”

“Mel, I knew there was a good reason I liked you. It’s settled, then. The lawnmower shall not die.”

“Mazaltov!”

Notes

This flash fiction story was written for a forum thread celebrating Jubilee. (See Leviticus.)

Characters

  1. Mel
  2. Judy
  3. Sol
  4. Velma
  5. Mr. Henderson
  6. Mrs. Henderson
  7. Jr. Henderson