audio Audio By
Ben Whisman


by Ben Whisman ;

copyright © by Ben Whisman; all rights reserved;

in sight? out of sight?
fade in? fade out?
fate in? fate out?
keep in? keep out?
stay in? stay out?
come in? come out?
join me in? help me out?
hide it? show it?
share my life? turn away?
love me? hate me?
courageous? coward?
foolish? sensible?
there is something in my closet.
but it is not a skeleton.
it is a ghost of me.
a part of myself apart, hidden.
someone i am but cannot be.
i want to be my whole self.
i do not want to hide the truth.
yet i do not know how to face it.
but it is me.
it is who and what and how i am.
i cannot hide from god.
i cannot hide from me.
i embrace this ghost into me.
out is how i must be.

this poem was originally written for possible inclusion in a short story or novella. less than a week later, , i came out to someone for the first time. i added the last two lines to resolve the change in my mindset on . i have decided to post this poem. it may still end up in a story, we’ll see. the side-by-side stanzas are meant to show the confusion and distress of the poem’s narrator with mixed, undecided pros and cons. finally, the narrator comes to some resolution.