The Feline Editorial Stance
- Copyright © By
- Ben Whisman
- All Rights Reserved
I had never really considered the feline editorial stance until just now. Oh, I’m quite sure cats have strong opinions on absolutely everything ever. That much has never been in doubt. Despite having edited before, paid professionally or unpaid volunteer (yes, he was one of those, the poor sap) I have never really considered the feline editorial stance on issues.
It turns out the feline editorial stance is not neutral. It is quite assertive. This is a stance wherein the feline individual in question inserts his or her opinion right into the discussion, as a participant rather than an observer or moderator. It is a bit distracting and obstructive, when confronted with it.
You see, dear reader, the feline editorial stance also involves a degree of civil disobedience, outright physical, non-violent protest, in demonstration against The Man, or The Woman, as the case may be. The feline places him- or herself directly in the line of fire, of the colloquial civil debate, as it were. Or perhaps uncivil debate, as it were, or weren’t, or...well, you get the idea.
It would seem the feline editorial stance must involve some degree of muckraking journalism, because the cat appears to have been drinking muddy water.
That’s right, the feline editorial stance is even a special case of a PEBKAC error. The problem exists between the keyboard and computer. Namely, the feline editorial stance is one in which the feline in question editorializes, or outright edits, interposing him- or herself into the conversation by standing directly between the keyboard and the screen.
This makes it very hard to type, and harder to see both the other party or parties to the conversation and your own responses, which must be, according to the feline, less than scintillating and diverting. The cat, you see, is diverting the discussion, changing it, routing it...oh, cat, what button did you just push?
Oh, dear. It’s really a good thing I saved.
It’s also a good thing that was suitable for general public consumption.
The particular item, thankfully, did not go anywhere. I think.
Unless the feline sent it to a network of other feline editors and opinion makers across the globe, or perhaps out to interstellar neighbors. You know, the Cat From Outer Space.
Well, if so, I hope ol’ Jake was amused.
My cat decided there was nothing too worthwhile going on with my writing. He prefers the Windows. No, not those Windows. He’s watching the world go by outside the real window. Apparently, anything birds and squirrels and neighborhood denizens do is more entertaining than my mere prose or poesy. Ah, well.
My other cat chose not to interfere, I mean, participate, in the forum post I was composing. He is more circumspect but no less involved.
I wonder if I could persuade them to write, and to split the royalties.